There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
