I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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