drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
