fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
