It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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