hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
