Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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