it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
