I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
