i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
