I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
