these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
