im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
