Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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