Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
