your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
