When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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