Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Life without a bra equals bliss.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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