I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
