the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dicks are not precious.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
