Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
