she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
