Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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