I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
