Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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