Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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