I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
