all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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