I bet he comes in French.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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