that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
