She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
