Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
