so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
