When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
