she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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