i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
