they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
