Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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