if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
