The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
