in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
