OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
party gras won. party gras always wins.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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