Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
