is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
