No, you can still breathe under the balls.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
