the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
