I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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