have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
