And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
