I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
